This girl! (Backstory)

I plan on asking every cab driver in whose cab I ride whether they did any of these things in the backseat:

– Changed a diaper
– Used hand lotion/body cream/anti-fungal cream
– Sat in the back after playing golf
– Got mud in their floorboards
– Ate bacon/hot dog/cured meat
– Drank water

See, “nitrates” in all these things will trigger the TSA’s Official Terrorist Alarm whilst I undergo their security screening and I don’t want to be held responsible for some terrorist cab driver’s water-swilling, hand-lotioning ways. I once accidentally took a bullet in my carry-on for a cross-country trip but look out, hand lotion.

This guy got a finger wagging from the TSA for showing the insipid weakness of their Backscatter machines. I thought the machines were perfect? To hear the TSA explain it, they don’t douse your body with a questionable amount…